people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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