Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
