We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Randomize
