I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
