after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
