i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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