How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Randomize
