Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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