it hurts more in the daytime
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
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