Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
