another moral hangover. fuck.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
