I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
even my farts smell like vagina
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Randomize
