Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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