Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
