Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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