this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
