shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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