I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
