Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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