he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
