i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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