Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
