I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
