Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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