Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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