she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
