It's Friday. Sex?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
