I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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