Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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