Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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