Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
