I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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