We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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