You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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