so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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