is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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