theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
