I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
