oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Randomize
