Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
