I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
