Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
nutella sex= disaster
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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