and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
