you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Randomize
