THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Randomize
