the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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