He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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