He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
