I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
