You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
It's never too late to be topless.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
When are your genitals available?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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