At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
